God speaks - more like a whisper

As I lay on the table with peat moss in bags placed across my back and something that generated heat on top of those (this process is called “rasha-leena” in Slovak), feeling the heat pervade the muscles and relaxing them, I fought the urge to fall asleep. I wanted to hear God even in this moment of “pampering.” I wanted to know that He could speak to my heart even in the midst of something as mundane or earthly as physical relaxation.

And speak He did. Well, it was more like a whisper. But it was unmistakeable. Linda & I had been talking about the future, about ministry opportunities, about Home Ministry Assignment and what would come after. We talked about the question of my desires for the future, for ministry fulfillment (is that an oxymoron?), what would be the perfect job description for me/us and much more.

This happens at the beginning of every HMA (Home Ministry Assignment). I find myself looking back over the past few years and asking the question, “What have I done with my time? Into what have I/we invested the resources (prayer, time & finances of those who partner with our work here in Europe)? Better yet, into WHOM have we invested?

What difference have we made by our presence in Slovakia & Europe? Will there be a hole caused by our departure? Will people yearn for the days that we walked among them?

What if we were to never return to the same area, church, ministries, people groups? In 2 years from now - or 5, 10 or 20 years from now - will people be different because of our presence and time spent here in Europe?

And then come the questions re: the future? Do we want to continue to work with young people? If not, why not? If not with young people, then with whom?

So, what did God say?

He ever-so-softly whispered to my heart, ”Can you see yourself investing your time, energy, finances, resources and those of your prayer & financial partners into people other than young people?“

I almost answered out loud. ”No! I cannot!“

I MUST have the joy, privilege, duty, opportunity and life of investing into young people. I MUST. It is that for which I have been created, formed, honed, shaped and released by God the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit.

I MUST and I WILL - by God’s grace & power!

Dream with Domca and Owen

***** It’s 1:09 am on March 26, 2009. Just woke up from a dream and decided to write it down.*****

I was driving through a small European village, when I spotted Domca standing a little ways away from the road standing at what appeared to be a bus stop. Linda was in the car with me. I stopped, backed up and fumbled with opening the window to yell out Linda’s window to Domca, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?” I was being sarcastic and the question means, “Are you kissing off your own people?”

I was, of course, sarcastically referring to the fact that she had not seen Linda & me in the car driving by and that she had not reacted to our presence in “her” village.

Domca didn’t hear me and I realized that I hadn’t rolled the window down but a small amount and that I had backed up too far. So, as I returned to the optimal position, this time with the window down, I yelled again in her direction, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?”

Unfortunately, she had started to walk further away, but she turned and looked in our direction for a moment before walking on. I drove further up and yelled again. I stopped the car, got out and began yelling yet once again, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?” in the direction I last saw her.

As I moved in the direction I last saw her, I noticed that people were staring at me. I explained to them in Slovak, that I had seen a young woman walking this way and asked if they had seen her. One man answered in British English, “I have no idea what you’re saying, old chap, but you’re welcome to join us.”

I suddenly realized that I was standing in the midst of some members of an extended family that happened to be out and about. I switched to English and in short time found out where Owen & Domca were living. I immediately went to visit them and was welcomed warmly.

After a good dinner with some of the extended family members, Domca, Owen & I were sitting in a living room with a fireplace laughing at my story of yelling at the bus stop and in town.

I changed topics and asked them how they were doing. My question met with a long, uncomfortable silence. I was really saddened. I had performed their wedding ceremony not barely 2 years ago and here they were already having serious problems.

I asked what they were doing the next day and was pleasantly surprised to hear that their day was free.

“Linda and I also have the day free. How about lunch together? I’ll bring the wine and Linda.”

“Great!” they blurted.

“Great. Only you fix lunch at your place so we can have some place private and after lunch, we’ll talk about your relationship and we’ll see if we can’t help you through this time.”

*****End of dream******

I woke up and immediately sent an email from my iPhone to Owen & Domca to ask how they are doing.

We know that we don't know a lot!

God has brought us to a crossroad in our lives & ministry. We are leaving Slovakia for Home Ministry Assignment on May 31, 2009. We know that the Lord is leading us in this.

We know that the Lord has a place for us to live in the USA - but we don’t know where that place is.

We know that the Lord has a job for Linda somewhere in the USA - but we don’t know where that is.

We know that the Lord has a plan for our day-to-day ministry time in the USA - but there are many variables that we don’t know.

We know that we have much support to raise - but we don’t know whom the Lord is going to use to partner with us.

We know that our work in the Kingdom has not come to an end - but we don’t know exactly what the Lord’s future plans are.

Hm, we don’t know much about the future. But we DO know the One who has the future in His grasp and - for now - that is sufficient for us.

We’re returning to the USA to raise support, get out of debt (incurred by living in Europe on insufficient income), get some more training or education (Kelly is praying about pursuing a doctorate) and continue serving in the Kingdom of God.

Please pray with us regarding God’s leading. Please pray for wisdom, clarity and direction.