Plantar Fasciitis - argh!

Got hit by plantar fasciitis this past week. I felt it coming a couple of weeks ago, but thought it was something that I could “push” through and would be fine after some stretching and such.

I’m glad that I have a couple of weeks off from tennis - not because I don’t want to play - au contraire! I’d rather be playing!

But, with the onset of plantar fasciitis, I need to rest my foot and ice it and treat it to get over it, so this is good timing.

Take care of your feet! Once you start having problems with them, it’s hard to find the time to stay off of them!

Encouragement Through A Phone prayer meeting

Yesterday, the firm of “Four J’s and a K” met by phone to pray for one another as we all are seeking the Lord’s direction for the future.

The four “J’s” stand for the first names of friends of mine and, of course, the “K” is for Kelly.

We met for one hour by tele-conference. We discussed briefly where we were regarding our “job” status and what we believe the Lord has been telling and/or teaching us.

We spent about half of the time in conversational prayer, lifting up one another, seeking Jesus’ face and listening to the hearts of our brothers as they cried out to the Father for guidance, assurance and peace in these tumultuous times of uncertainty.

The pain, frustration, feelings of emasculation and more are only exacerbated by the Christmas season. All of this leads - often - to a sense of loneliness and even abandonment.

If you are unemployed and desperately want to connect with others who are in the midst of the same challenges, feelings, experiences, then let me know and you could be invited to the next prayer tele-conference of the “4Js & a K“ that will take place just after the new year.

Really, with literally millions of us in this ”condition,“ don’t you think that we can spare an hour every couple of weeks to re-align with our Lord’s heartbeat, His plan, His will, His desires? Join us.

All of us found encouragement, hope, and peace through a simple phone call. If you don’t want to join us, start your own small network of prayer support with 2-4 other friends and watch what God does.

Church or Country Club?

As I play more tennis these days and my wife, Linda, and Nathan, my youngest son, express an interest in playing, I have found myself considering the possibility of joining a tennis club or country club for the very purpose of having a pool of players from which to draw - as well as professionals to help us all improve & advance in our skill-level abilities.

As I perused one country club’s web site, I was struck by a few phrases:

1. Membership in this country club, a private club, is by referral. 


2. Proper tennis attire is required, "T" shirts and running shoes are not permitted.


3. We do not accept cash or credit transactions, all charges are billed to members' accounts.


4. While visiting this country club, we ask that you adhere to appropriate country club attire.  Jeans and other denim are not allowed anywhere on club property.  Collared and mock shirts are requested for gentleman and collared or sleeved shirts for ladies. 

Now, while I don’t have a problem with these rules for a country club, I wonder if we haven’t adopted them for our churches and, thereby, created an exclusivity that was not meant for the church.

What are the Biblical principles & truths regarding the church - especially regarding new people, non-believers?

1. Does our church welcome the new person with open arms or are there some behaviors, lifestyles, dress codes, hairstyles, speech patterns & lingo that are not allowed in “the church”?


2. Are we more concerned with how the newcomer presents himself/herself than we are about his/her eternal destiny?


3. Do we require newcomers to sign on the dotted line BEFORE they can avail themselves of the wonderful benefits of the local church (Bible teaching, counseling, friendships, financial aid, assistance, etc.)?


4. Does our church present itself in a way that communicates that it is a refuge FROM the world? That it is a place where the dirty, the homeless, the hurting, the sinful, the broken are not welcome to display their flaws in any way?

I fear that the average, white, middle-class or upper-class church is more about what WE want than what JESUS wants. That the call from Jesus to those who need healing, help & cleansing is directed to other churches - maybe those downtown churches - but not ours. We want a refuge from the world in our little church building. We want separation from the pain, suffering, dirt and sin that goes on in the world.

I have only one thing to say: Our refuge is in Jesus Christ - not a building or a group of people. Together, as we find refuge IN HIM, we realize this one truth: It doesn’t matter WHERE we are (i.e. in the most despicable of surroundings) or WITH WHOM we are (sinners of the most vile kind), we ALWAYS have a refuge IN JESUS CHRIST.

Church or country club? What’s yours?

Cosmic déjà vu?

I don’t know what else to call this thing that I’ve experienced 3 or 4 times in my life. It’s very difficult to explain, let alone describe - but I’ll try.

Last week, Sunday to be exact, I parked my car in the church’s parking lot, exited and began walking to the auditorium to participate in the worship service.

As I crossed the parking lot and stepped onto the sidewalk, everything took on a surreal kind of flavor - sounds faded away, but at the same time were intensively heightened in my brain. Colors became dull & gray, but also took on a sharper, more defined kind of HD quality at the same moment. The young people hanging out in front of the youth building became a few of the billions on our planet, yet their faces, mannerisms, demeanor and appearance were strikingly etched in my memory.

My thoughts bounced from an earthly perspective to another perspective - beyond earth.

At that moment, I felt suspended between heaven & earth. I felt torn between this home and my heavenly home.

I felt strangely removed from “today” and warmly connected to “timelessness.”

I know. It sounds like I was tripping on some kind of hallucinogenic.

I remember the first time I had this kind of experience. I was a new believer in Christ and I was in Honolulu, Hawaii.

The same surreal sense came over me and I remember thinking - as I passed hundreds, maybe thousands, of people on the street that day - “Why is it that we -- all of us human beings who have been put on this single, solitary planet with the same basic needs & wants -- cannot find a way to co-exist in a humane manner?” We pass each other on the street and don’t even acknowledge one another with a look, let alone a greeting. We act as though we - ourselves - are all that matters; that no one else matters or is of importance or value.

These moments, though few, are memorable as they put a new spin, a new perspective on day-to-day living and how easily we forget that there are others around us who would welcome a simple head nod of acknowledgement, a small smile of recognition, a word of greeting.

Maybe we can’t “change the world,” but we can change the world around us, don’t you think?

Cheesy?

I came across this today in the line of duty. I'm really sorry, but I have to categorize this as "Cheesy."

Life Markers

I had a great talk with my long-time buddy this morning about life
markers. He asked me,"What are the markers the Lord has laid out in
your life over the years?"

He followed up that question with these:
1. Is the Lord Jesus expanding my influence?
2. Is my character growing? Am I becoming more & more like Jesus?
3. Am I serving the Kingdom? In spite of my "transition" am I allowing
Jesus to use me for His purposes?
4. How has the Lord shown Himself to be faithful in my life to date?
5. How is the Lord revealing Himself a) through me, b) in me and c) to
me?

Great questions for meditation & cogitation.

More on these after I have taken time to think through them.

Kelly

Ezekiel's encounter with God

It is most interesting to me that in the 8th chapter of Ezekiel, we find what it is that God TRULY hates.

At the beginning of the chapter, the Lord takes Ezekiel to the north gate of the inner courtyard and shows him the large idol that “made the Lord very jealous.” The Lord proclaims His dismay that His people worship this idol.

The Lord, then, takes Ezekiel to a spot where there is a small hole in the wall. This was preceded by the Lord saying, “...you will see even more detestable (sins) than these.” This statement has a rather ominous tone to it and I expect to encounter the more culturally unacceptable sins in this next setting. And when the Lord tells Ezekiel to dig into the hole and he finds a doorway, I’m thinking some kind of base, sexual deviancy will be the focus of the next sinful actions of the people.

However, Ezekiel finds the spiritual leaders of Israel worshipping idols of various kinds. The Lord asks Ezekiel, “...have you seen what the leaders of Israel are doing with their idols in dark rooms?” and then proceeds to declare, “Come, and I will show you even more detestable sins than these!”

The Lord then takes Ezekiel to the north gate of the Temple and shows him women weeping for the (false) god Tammuz.

And, finally, the Lord takes Ezekiel to the entrance of the inner courtyard of the Temple and there shows him 25 men with their backs to the sanctuary worshipping the sun!

The Lord then asks, “Is it nothing to the people of Judah that they commit these detestable sins...?”

I am rebuked as I realize that the greatest of sins is idolatry - and that idolatry is virtually the only sin we commit. We replace God with habits, desires, activities, actions, thoughts and philosophies every day of our lives.

Idolatry is prevalent and rampant today in our culture. We worship the beauty of the creation (otherwise, why such emphasis on “washboard abs“, wrinkle-free faces, heads full of thick, gray-free hair and more)? We worship the systems that were set up to support life on this little blue ball (the weather, governments, philosophies of life & thinking, etc.) and we worship whatever gives us a sense of value, purpose & meaning in life (causes like ”going green“, self-flagellation, self-sacrifice and more).

These things are not necessarily bad, but any time they take any precedence over the priorities of the Kingdom of God, they become idolatry and, therefore, sin.

Ouch!

Discovery Men's Retreat

I just returned from a Friday night/Saturday morning retreat with the Discovery Church in San Diego, CA.,

What an incredible weekend. What an expression of grace, forgiveness, and love.

To hear the story of Ted & Gayle Haggard was amazing. To live the forgiveness and love that was shared by the men & friends of Discovery Church was even better.

Here are just a few quotes from the weekend:

“When you displace responsibility & blame, you make that entity your lord.” Ted Haggard

Victimization is a double-edged sword.

1. “I’m not worthy.“ (My worth is determined by the value of that which is used to buy me - 1 Pet. 1)


2. And/or ”I’m okay, but you’re not okay.“

Psalm 1

        There is no way to be healed outside of the tree of life - only being good (according to the tree of the knowledge of good & evil) does not lead to healing but to a focus on performance, not grace and the self, not Christ.

Gayle made a statement at the beginning of her interview during the Sunday morning worship service that went something like this:

”Before the crisis, our marriage was stronger than I could remember. Ted was clinging to me more than ever and we were closer than ever before.“

I thought that to be a real challenge to the men of our day. We men think that clinging to our wives is a sign or act of weakness and that we grow weaker as we become more vulnerable to our wives. ”Au contraire!“ It is really just the opposite. And in Ted & Gayle’s situation, I believe that it was that intimacy that Christ developed in them that kept them together through their crisis.

”Sobriety is the control of an area of my life that, left uncontrolled, would be my destruction.“ Ted Haggard

And a thought to chew on for a while; it comes out of Rev. 21:8 - it is the cowardly who are thrown into the Lake of Fire first. Isn’t that interesting?

God's crooked ways are straighter than our straight ways

I had a conversation with Dave Pollard this morning during breakfast at the Discovery Men’s retreat. He shared with me a story about a missionary who served in Brazil for 20 years.

This young man was called by God to Muslim ministry. He studied & learned Arabic and prepared for his move to a Muslim country. As he pursued one option after another, each door was closed.

He ended up going to Brazil to train Brazilians to go to Muslim countries because Brazilians are more accepted in Muslim countries than Americans - and he spent 20 years doing that!

As a result, he probably impacted more Muslims than he would/could have if he had gone to a Muslim country on his own.

The “crooked way” of God led to a greater fruit-bearing than man’s “straight way.”

“God’s (seemingly) crooked ways are straighter than our straightest ways.”

Catalyst 2009 - Professor Splash - World Record

Well, I’ve spent another great 3 days at Catalyst 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia. For now, I just want to post a video of Professor Splash (Darrin Taylor) who, in the Gwinnett Arena sets another record for high diving from a platform 35 feet 9 inches high into 12 inches of water. AMAZING! Watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNciDWfOszM&feature=youtube_gdata


More thoughts from Catalyst to come. Check back in a couple of days!

A thought about contentment from God

Here’s a good prayer for the day - although, with the direction of our economy, we may be FORCED to live this way (at least the 2nd part)! ;-)

O God, I beg two favors from you;
let me have them before I die.
8  First, help me never to tell a lie.
Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
9  For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.


Ahh, this is certainly something that the average American (you? me?) should learn to live!

Money woe turns to money "whoa!"

“Even in darkness light dawns for the upright” states Psalm 112:4.

There is much truth in this verse and we have seen this even this week.

As we, upon deciding to return to the USA for an indefinite period of time, considered making one of our goals to get completely out of debt, we wondered what kind of a long-term goal that would be.

When we were informed this past week that our paycheck would be “cut” to about 1/4 of our supposed-to-be amount, it was a dark moment in our week - frankly, in our month!

However, in the midst of “darkness dawns light for the upright“ and that is so true for us. Through a series of strange events, we see a brighter light at the end of the long tunnel than we have ever seen in a long time.

It is possible that, with the exceptions of school loans that we have taken out for our kids, we will be debt-free within in 3-6 months! What a blessing that will be!

“Even in darkness light dawns for the upright.”

Sad news. Family, again.

Just on the heels of Candace & Luke’s announcement of pregnancy, comes the announcement from Andy Nemcik that his brother, Mike, has passed away.

He was 81 years old and, according to Andy, passed into the Lord’s presence early on Friday morning. Andy walked through Scripture with him to verify his relationship with Jesus Christ as His Savior and is convinced that Uncle Mike (Utco Mike as we fondly call him) affirmed his commitment to Jesus as His Lord.

He will be missed. He was a gentle, loving, kind and generous man, uncle, brother and friend. Please pray for the Nemcik family, our family and friends as we all process the loss of our beloved Utco Mike.

Blessed news! Family growth!

I just sent out our latest P.a.P.U. (Praise and Prayer Update) with an announcement that our family continues to expand through the addition of Samantha Fuller.

Well, last night we received a call from Luke & Candace that THEIR family is expanding, too. That means that I will be a Grandpa in about 9 months! That also means that I’ll be married to a Grandma! She’s too young to be a Grandma! But she looks great!

We thank the Lord for the joy of seeing our family expand in so many different ways!

Money woes again

We were informed - again - today that our paycheck this Friday will be about 50% of what we've been receiving for quite some time (and that's been about 50% of what our paycheck should be).

So, it looks like we're going to have to tap into our one and only investment and maybe an IRA (ugh!).

I read that the IRA cashing-out option is up a whopping 44% this year! Looks like we aren't the only ones in that boat.

Well, we're thankful that we have those options to fall back on during these incredibly hard times. It's all the Lord's money anyways and if that's how He wants it used, well, who am I to argue with the Creator of the universe (& that includes finances!)

Tennis!

I had the joy of playing competitive tennis tonight! Linda went with me to a city tennis center to watch me train against the backboard. I ended up playing 3 sets of doubles with 3 different partners throughout the evening.

Wow! I went through a CASE of WD-40 trying to loosen up my rusty strokes, serve, volleys, overheads and more.

What a thrill to experience the adrenaline rush of competition, the challenge of maintaining focus in the midst of losing and the rush of hitting an unbelievable winner in the heat of battle.

Ahhhhhhh. It feels good to do something that you feel created to do.

I haven't played serious competitive tennis in over 30 years and it feels like I've only been out a few months.

I'm going back again later this week. I'll be more rested, in better shape, better stretched out and wiser.

Welcome to The "Fog Club!!!"

THE “FOG CLUB”

Over the past few months, friends, family members, supporters and pastors and missions team leaders of supporting churches have asked the same question that you may even have somewhere in the back of your mind, “So, where are you these days?”

The literal answer to that question is, “Phoenix, Arizona.” But that’s not the question that you all are really asking us. You, along with others, want to know what is up with regards to our future, our ministry, our lives and plans.

Our immediate response is, “That’s a VERY good question.” And the usual follow-up is something like, “We are walking with Jesus in a fog. We know that we are doing what He wants us to do right now. We just do not know what He wants for the future.”

I, Kelly, have been most obsessed with this “fog” in which we have been living for the past few months. I have found some comfort in knowing (and communicating with) others who are experiencing the very same “fog.” The “fog club” (as I affectionately call it) includes pastors waiting for their next ministry assignment, missionaries, CEOs, COOs and several others. When the waiting becomes too frustrating for one of us, we “vent” to some of the others and find the Lord appropriately admonishing, encouraging, reproving and/or rebuking us as needed.

The “fog of waiting” (as with real fog) plays with your senses, though the spiritual and emotional senses as opposed to the senses of sight, hearing and touch in physical fog. There are times when it seems to me that the Lord is “putting something together” and the fog appears to begin to lift. The emotions rise as well, but are quickly dashed as, upon entering denser fog, I realize that it was simply a pocket of lighter fog which I had misread as the end of the fog bank.

Traveling through a fog bank has it’s directional challenges. Up and down, east and west and north and south all LOOK the same. They all FEEL the same and, to a large degree, they all SOUND the same. But they are not the same. And that’s the biggest threat and challenge. It is during these times that I most need - and desire - the hand of the Lord on my shoulder leading, guiding and protecting.

The “fog of waiting” is not all bad. It’s cool, dark, quiet and protective from the prying eyes and “advice” of others. It allows me to move about in relative obscurity. It blocks out the panorama of the rest of the world around me, thus giving me a false sense of “all is well” with the world. It’s coolness relieves the stifling heat of work that often causes trickles of sweat on my brow. And, for a while, that makes me not want to enter the heat of the sun.

I know that I need to move forward, but after having been in the fog for so long, it’s easy to fear the penetrating sunlight, the heat, the expanse of life outside of my little fog-created world.

As much as I do look forward to “the exit,” I don’t want to dash ahead out of the waiting zone before the Lord has accomplished in my life - and in the lives of others - what He wants to do in this time. It is so against my nature not to have a definite plan, a concrete ministry or job waiting for me when our Home Ministry Assignment ends. But God is the One Who freely moves in and out of time accomplishing His desires & plans and I must, I will, wait upon Him and for Him. (I say this as I grit my teeth, not knowing how much longer the waiting will last.)

I love this promise from our Lord: “Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” AMEN!

I will wait for the Lord.

MRI Results

Just a quick MRI results update (on my left shoulder and bicep)...

I DON’T have a torn rotator cuff - PRAISE THE LORD! That would have probably required surgery, rehab, and much more time!

I DO seem to have impingement of the shoulder. What does that mean? I’ll try to explain it as best as I can (though Linda should probably writing this up!)

Impingement is caused (in my case) by inflamed bursae (that’s the plural of bursa). The bursa is like a shock absorber between the shoulder bone and the muscle tissue of the shoulder (see the picture). When it gets irritated (inflamed) it swells and pinches the muscle tissue, ligaments and other items located nearby.

In my case, it appears that the bursa is inflamed and is pinching not only the muscle tissue in the shoulder (thus causing limited range of motion, pain and aching), but also the bicep ligament, thereby causing pain in the upper bicep region of the arm.

The doc suggested a series of Cortizone shots over a period of a few months to reduce the inflammation. If that doesn’t work, then there are other options to consider & pursue.

So, I received my first Cortizone injection (of my life) into my left shoulder bursa and I have to say that after only almost 4 days that I do sense a bit of improvement in that I have less pain.

Waiting for God to move...

In reading E.M. Bounds’ book “The Necessity of Prayer,” I came across this paragraph that is apropos to my setting in life right now, as it is in the lives of many others who are currently waiting on the Lord for either clarity regarding their future or simply for a new job.

What a blessing to know this God who is all-knowing, everywhere-present, all-caring and yet, at times, seems to be slow in providing or responding to our pleas. I will be patient and wait for Him - it may not be easy (actually, I know it’s NOT easy) - because I know Him and I know that His plans, ways, timing and gifts are what are best for me - for you, too.

“Yet faith is called upon, and that right often to wait in patience before God, and is prepared for God’s seeming delays in answering prayer. Faith does not grow disheartened because prayer is not immediately honoured; it takes God at His Word, and lets Him take what time He chooses in fulfilling His purposes, and in carrying on His work. There is bound to be much delay and long days of waiting for true faith, but faith accepts the conditions –– knows there will be delays in answering prayer, and regards such delays as times of testing, in the which, it is privileged to show its mettle, and the stern stuff of which it is made.”

By the way, I DO recommend this book - it’s a classic on prayer.

SuperStar-dom Christianity

As I was walking into the hospital for some quick blood lab work just a couple of days ago, I spotted my reflection in the window and the thought crossed my mind, “Do they have any idea who is coming through the door?”

The thought grabbed my attention for several reasons:

1. Do I know who it is that is coming through the door? How well do I know myself?


2. Am I someone that the people in the hospital SHOULD know? If so, why? What is it that I possess/know/do that they would WANT to know me?


3. Why would they want to know me? What will they gain from an encounter with me?

Funny how the “I” became such a central focus of my thinking.

My thoughts ran ahead of me and scampered on down the timeline of life to my headstone and questioned me. “Do you REALLY think that you can make a difference in a city of a million people, in a state of over 5 million people, in a country of over 300 million people, on a planet of over 6 BILLION people?”

They continued to press me, “Do you really believe that after 100 years of living on this planet (most of those years absorbed by sleep, eating, figuring out what you’re called to/want to do with your life) that after 20 more years, you’ll even be remembered?”

Ouch!

Nancy Ortberg, in her book “Looking for God”, states that it seems like the church has adopted the “Superstar approach“ and adapted it to the local church ministry. We hear about the life-change of celebrities, sports stars, political figures and more. But what about the people like one lady I’ll call Phyllis who spent the majority of her life caring for an ailing father right up to his death bed. Who spends her time praying for people like my family and our ministries and serving ”behind the scenes“ doing attendance for church and Sunday school? What about them? There are - I guess - millions and millions of these silent saints, quiet servants and pillars of God’s Kingdom (maybe not viewed that way in the local church, but there are lots of things viewed differently in the churches than the way God sees them. But I digress.)

Back to my original thought...

When I realized that my lone presence on this planet for the past 51 years hasn’t created any significant historical changes (at least for the record books), the next thought brought me back to reality and, with it, peace.

I’m NOT SUPPOSED to be the focus of my life - or anybody’s life. JESUS CHRIST is supposed to be the focus. So, if I do my ”job“ correctly, I will leave people behind who are more focused on Jesus because of their interaction with me. It may be small or grand in scale, but the purpose of my life is to lessen and for Jesus to increase. My shadow should dim throughout my life as His darkens. My words should fade as His sharpen. My voice should hush as His shouts.

Stink! Just as I thought I was getting this figured out, I realize that I’m still way too self-centered (read SELFISH!) and not nearly enough Christ-centered in my thoughts, words & deeds.

Oh well, Lord willing I’ll have another 50 years to ”get it right!”

Book review - "In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day"

I just finished a book titled "In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day" written by Mark Batterson. The subtitle is “How to survive and thrive when opportunity roars.”

I thought I’d write down some of the thoughts I gleaned from this book in hopes that it will spark an interest in you to read this book.

Not all of the following thoughts come directly from the book. Some are thoughts that I have summarized from thoughts that the author sparked in my thinking:

“Uncertainty creates adventure.”
“Bad days enable us to love & appreciate good days.”
“No problem = No miracle“
”You/Others intended ___________ for evil for me, BUT God intended it for good!“
”He (God) has not forgotten me.“
”No risk = No reward”
“Risk-free faith does not exist.”
“We need to criticize by creating.” Michelangelo

“The biggest risk were the greatest opportunities.”
“Lion-chasers are always on the lookout for God-ordained opportunities.”
“Faith gives us the dimensional freedom to overcome our human limitations by exiting space-time via prayer.”
“God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go... If you keep in step with the Spirit.”
“To the infinite all finites are equal.”
“Don’t accumulate possessions; accumulate experiences.”
“Are you living life in a way that is worth telling stories about?”

“But here’s the catch: Opportunities often look like insurmountable obstacles.”
“Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshiping what’s right with God.”

“A fascinating study done by Professor Vicki Medvec reveals the relative importance of subjective attitudes over and above objective circumstances. Medvec studied Olympic medalists and discovered that bronze medalists were quantifiably happier than silver medalists. Here’s why: Silver medalists tended to focus on how close they came to winning gold, so they weren’t satisfied with silver; bronze medalists tended to focus on how close they came to not winning a medal at all, so they were just happy to be on the medal stand.”

“Faith doesn’t reduce uncertainty. Faith embraces uncertainty.”

“Let me tell you something about stepping out in faith. You almost always second guess yourself.”

“Prayer helps us catch the opportunities God throws our way.”

“We are called to conform to Christ. And Christ was a nonconformist. So conforming to Christ results in nonconformity.”

There is much more to glean from this book, but you’ll have to read it for yourself. VERY encouraging and the challenge to live a life of wise risks is very clear.

You're not forgotten!

I listened to a message by Scot McKnight today as I ran. The point of the message was that God has not forgotten us. What a breath of fresh air!

In light of today’s economy, and so many people out of work and wondering about the future, realizing & recognizing that God is still present in all of the details of life is a very encouraging truth!

Scot really encouraged me, especially in light of our situation: that of having returned to the USA without a clear answer from the Lord as to what is on the horizon.

God has not forgotten you, either. Many times in history, people experience waiting on the Lord. In the waiting, the Lord does what He needs to in order to prepare us for the work to which He has called us. (Eph. 2:10)

You are not forgotten - no matter the feelings, the lies, the situation - you are not forgotten.

Hating the waiting?

Waiting. Oh, how I (sometimes) despise the word. I don’t mind waiting if I know that I will be waiting a specified amount of time. For instance, if I schedule an appointment with the doctor and am told that I need to arrive 30 minutes early to fill out forms and such and then I can see the doctor - I can wait. I’ll bring a book to read in the meantime.

But, if I’m told that my appointment is at 7:30 a.m. and at 8:00 a.m., I’m still waiting for the doc, I start getting a little antsy. By 8:15, I’m getting frustrated and at 8:45, I’m starting to steam.

Do you ever feel that way?

I know that it must have been hard for Abraham & Sarah (at the time Abram & Sarai), when God promised them offspring and years passed before any sign of pregnancy took place. I mean, when GOD says something is going to happen, IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN! The thing that we often miss is the TIMING of the promise. Nowhere at the initial mention of the promise of offspring did God promise Abram & Sarai that they would have a child during the following year.

I repeat the statement from the book, “Learning to Wait” by John Ortberg, “What God does in us while we wait is as important as what we are waiting for.“ Bad grammar, I know, but a true statement nonetheless. Nothing of good quality takes place without thorough preparation.

Still, waiting for several years for an answered promise from the Lord is difficult.

So, I can’t really complain when I look at our situation and see that we’ve been back in the U.S. only 2 months and have spent the better part of the time waiting.

One thing I’ve noticed is that waiting can be passive or active. I can wait impatiently or I can wait ”in the Lord“ and let Him do what He wants to do in me while I wait.

When I wait ”in Him,“ I wait expectantly for Him to do IN me what He wants to do in order to prep me for the work that He has prepared me to do (Eph. 2:10).

Preparing for something is as important as doing the ”something.“ Often it doesn’t seem that way, but good things or great things don’t just happen, they are the results of good or great preparation.

When I realize that, I don’t hate the wait - I anticipate the wait.

Personalized prayer

I just got off the phone with a brother who has recently gone “through the mill” in life. In the past year, he has lost his wife due to cancer among other things.

He made one statement that has rung in the hollows of my brain ever since. “I’ve been counseled to pray ”In Your name“ as opposed to ”in Jesus’ name.“ the point is the emphasis on a more personal communication. Rather than praying in the name of Jesus as in the 3rd person, I am to pray in the 2nd person - ”in Your name.“”

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Waiting... still and "the call"

I hate waiting - always have. I drive in the fast lane, head for the self-checkout lane at the grocery store, call “single” at the ski lift in hopes of catching some other single at the front of the line, own an iPhone (so I can check email, weather, currency exchange rates & more any time of the day), will not purchase an “adequate” anything (computer, internet connection, car, power tools, etc.) because “adequate” usually means - to me - slow, underpowered, INadequate.

I know that I’m impatient and don’t wait well, so I’m very conscious when the Lord intentionally makes me wait that it must have some higher purpose.

I recently read a very short book by John Ortberg entitled, “Learning to Wait.” In it, he paraphrases a quote from another author (Ben Patterson?) and states, “What God does in us while we wait is as important as what we are waiting for.“

Holy cow is he right. The time of waiting, wondering, questioning, pondering, doubting, struggling and - sometimes - hoping, is intense.

I’ve been ”waiting“ for the past couple of months - ever since the Lord made it very clear that we were to pack up all of our belongings and head back to the USA.

Today, I had lunch with Dr. Jim & Shirley Cook, my first pastor and also the (former) president of the Bible College and Graduate school where I obtained my Bachelor’s (Pastor Studies) and Master’s (Sacred Theology)degrees. At 79 years of age, he is still traveling around the world preaching, teaching & training. What an inspiration.

During our conversation, Pastor Jim said that what has been lost in today’s churches & seminaries is ”the call of God“ on a person’s life. I agree. I think that we have so professionalized the ministry of the Kingdom of God that we have forgotten that it is the Holy Spirit, God, that calls us to His work. It is HE that energizes us, leads us, moves us and guides us!

So, as I ponder the truth of ”the call“ in the ”waiting room of God“ I ask myself, ”How do these work together?“

Don’t they seem to exist one in contrast to the other? I mean, if I know my calling, then how much waiting do I really have to do? And, while I’m waiting, isn’t it more or less simply a momentary rest, reprieve or shift from one task to another in the calling that He has given me.

I’m not opposed to waiting - especially if, as in our case, the Lord has made it clear that that is the role for now - but as with anything, it is possible to overdo it and end up forever ”waiting“ for the ”perfect will of God.“

Right?

So, the guard against that - in my mind - is to be diligent in prayer and have many others standing with us in that time of waiting. Would you pray with & for us during this time as we ”wait on the Lord“? Thanks.

Isaiah 40:28-31
”Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.“

Transition blues

In how many beds have you slept in the past month?

That’s not a provocative statement, is it? :-)

Just during the past 7 days, Linda and I have slept in 6 different beds.

Our lives are so full of change, shifting and adjustment that it’s hard to find a “normal” rating anywhere. Tonight, we leave for Phoenix again because our container comes in tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. and we have several people coming over to help us unload (we have 2 hours to unload the container without extra cost). We hope to achieve that goal because the temperatures are expected to reach 111 degrees!

Back to transition... One of the marks of transition is the feeling of not belonging. You feel like you don’t have a home. You feel like you don’t have a place in life. You feel like the days are passing and there is no real purpose or meaning to them. It’s like riding a roller coaster over and over and over and over again. At first, the thrill is addicting and enjoyable and even therapeutic (for those of us who enjoy roller coasters). Then, you make adjustments for a different thrill (from the very front seat to the very back seat, then with your eyes closed and arms raised and on). After a while, you realize that the scenery doesn’t change and you don’t go anywhere - you can’t get anywhere because that’s not the purpose of the roller coaster.

At the same time, you feel like your routine is non-existent. You can’t find a rhythm for your day-to-day existence. You can’t get a grasp of forward motion. Everybody else’s lives seem to be so much more meaningful than your own.

You begin to question your day-to-day activities and struggle to find meaning in them. Your existence seems to be non-essential, unimportant and hollow.You laugh easily, but the laughter is punctuated with a sigh. Tears rise easily at the mention of a person, animal or nation in any kind of pain.

It’s a good time because your heart is tender, sensitive and responsive. It’s a crappy time -- for the exact same reason. Who wants to cry at the plight of penguins in Antarctica? It’s a time of self-probing. A time of de-toxing from the frenetic activity that so often masks our hearts with pseudo-compassion that motivates us to salve our consciences through giving financial gifts or anything but ourselves.

It’s a painful time because you’re stripped of all of the masks, layers, shells, and coverings behind which we often hide behind.

I’m reminded of a visit to a masseuse in Slovakia many years ago. As she dug into my calf muscle, nearly causing me to break out in a cold sweat, she asked, “Does that hurt?”

I grunted an affirmation with a head nod and said, “But it’s a good hurt.” Because I knew that the result of the pain from the massage would be less pain in the days to come.

I’m pretty confident that these “transition blues“ are a ”good hurt.“ At least, I HOPE so! ;-)

Andy Stanley strikes again

I listened to a message by Andy Stanley while on my bike ride this past Saturday. I can’t stop thinking about one comment that he made during his message. I’m paraphrasing (and that could be dangerous with the questionable nature of my memory!) here: When you’re in debt, you have more than one master.

You see, if you come in contact with an opportunity to give to a need and the Lord stirs your heart to give to that need, but because of your debt you cannot give to that need, you have a master that is limiting your ability to give to a particular need. The desire, the vision and realization can all be present, but if your debt is such that you cannot give, then your master is truly the credit card company or loan company or whatever company/individual it is to whom you are indebted.

OUCH! That hurts. It hurts because it is true. It also hurts because I have experienced that very scenario.

Here’s what Jesus says: ““No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” Matt. 6:24

Now, I know that some debt may be at times unavoidable. And some debt is acceptable when the investment actually will bring a greater return on your money. However, as I consider my own financial situation, whether it is justified or not (as I’d like to think almost all of our current debt is), it is still debt. I am still limited in my ability to give to the work of the kingdom. Therefore, my desire, my dream, my goal, is to remove myself totally from indebtedness ASAP so that when the Lord stirs my heart to meet a need, or I see an opportunity to give to something or someone that could have Kingdom impact, I can give generously!

I only want one master - the Lord Jesus Christ. I don’t want CitiBank or Visa or whoever telling me, “Sorry. Yes, it is a great opportunity. It is a great need, but you have to pay ”me“ first, then you can use what’s left for your other Master.” Argh. No thanks.

Not to mention, I don’t like the idea of being in debt with the future of our country looking like it does. I’d like total freedom from the constraints of this worldly system. That way, when the Lord says, “Give!” or “Move!” or “Invest into My Kingdom here!” I can do it with total abandon and freedom and joy!

Disappointment with God - expressed

This past week has been an interesting test in my walk with Jesus.

Just a week ago on Friday, July 1st, we were informed that our container (with our household stuff) had arrived in Los Angeles. That’s the good news. The “bad” news is that there was a “hitch” in the process because we had a “firearm” in our container and the shipping company has a strict “No Firearms” policy.

The “firearm” that was in the container is a rifle that is powered by pumping up air pressure and shooting hour-glass-shaped pellets. Now, the definition of a firearm is a weapon that can or is designed to launch a projectile by an explosive. Now, an air gun is not a firearm for the very reason that there is not explosion whatsoever.

On that basis, we had no concern when we loaded the air gun into our container in Slovakia.

However, upon arrival in L.A., someone WAS concerned with it’s presence and the container was marked for a special & more intensive exam. This exam would include an x-ray of the container and then, if decided by the U.S. Customs Dept. a manual examination. “Manual examination“ means that all of the contents of the container would be removed from the container for manual & visual examination. That alone would cost us an extra $1500. The x-ray costs $200. Storage for the 2 days of delay would cost $200. That pushes us close to the $2000 mark on top of the almost $6000 to ship the container from Slovakia to the USA.

Early in the week, we began to pray, and ask others to pray, that the Customs agent would show mercy and pass our container on to be shipped to us in Phoenix.

However, as the week wore on, we received more information that pointed to the inevitable & dreaded $1500 exam. I remained faithful that the Lord did not want to ”waste“ $1500 on this exam, knowing that there was nothing of any consequence in the container that breaks the law, and knowing that it would be a waste of their time.

On Thursday (yesterday) at about 10:00am, I received an email stating that the container had just been x-rayed (cha-ching, $200 out-of-pocket) and was being transferred to the manual examination area. Stefanie, the rep from the shipping company prepared us for the worst.

We happened to be in Phoenix at the time, walking into Borders’ Bookstore. As I read the email, I sighed deeply.

”What’s wrong?“ asked Linda.

”Honestly? I am disappointed that the Lord didn’t intervene and stop the Customs agent from doing the manual exam. I’m frustrated that He has $1500 to waste on an exam that will be fruitless. I really thought He’d intervene and stop it.“

Martin & Lenka were with Linda & me and as we sat down to lunch we prayed - once again - for God to intervene and cancel the exam. But if not, then to provide the funds to pay for the extra expenses.

At about 11:30am, I received the following message from Stefanie, ”I think I have FABOLOUS news for you!!!!   I am waiting on confirmation but it looks like customs cancelled the intensive exam.“ And, sure enough, the exam was cancelled.

Even if God had NOT intervened and cancelled the exam, He would still be good. But I wonder, if I would see Him as good as I do now. After all, it’s HIS money that would be ”wasted“ on that exam.

As we have recounted the story and wondered why He did what He did, when He did it and how He did it, we wonder - as we and others often do - what He was doing in the midst of it all.

I think, along with Linda, that He wants us to make it clear to Stefanie just WHO really is in control. So, Linda & I have decided to send her a little gift of thanks for all of her work on our behalf and a little explanation of our perspective on how God DID intervene to cancel the intensive manual exam and explain why we follow Him.

I’ll keep you posted on the outcome...

Change from "Missionary Musings" to "Dribblings of a Disciple"

Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I changed the title of my blog from “Missionary Musings” to “Dribblings of a Disciple” recently.

Why?

It seems to me that “musings” was a bit lofty for me. The word “musing” is defined as “an instance or period of reflection.” Seeing as how my ability to focus on any issue or topic is quite short-lived, I thought that “dribbling” would be more appropriate for my style of “cogitation.”

Dribbling. The noun form is “dribble” and is defined as “saliva running from the mouth” or “foolish talk or ideas, nonsense.” Dribbling can also mean “fall slowly in drops or a thin stream.” That’s usually the way that my thoughts come out - they dribble. And as they dribble out of my mouth and I form the actual words, I begin to understand what it is that I am thinking. It’s a form of thinking called “figure-it-out-as-you-say-it” thinking.

I have to process ideas verbally. That’s why this blog is good for me. It’s almost as good as sitting down with someone and bantering about thoughts, ideas, suggestions & such, but not quite.

So, from this day forth, my “dribblings” will keep coming as they have, but the context (that of being a disciple) is a bit broader than that of a missionary.

All that to say, “Hey, I didn’t like my blog title, so I changed it.”

Most of y’all didn’t even notice, though now, did you!? ;-)

Lizard spotting

While on my bike ride the other night, I spotted this litter critter skittering through the underbrush. I stopped by to watch him and wondered if he were more dangerous to me or I to him. Turns out, I’m more dangerous to him. Cute little guy, but he is carnivorous! ;-)


He’s called a Short-Horned Lizard.

Haven’t seen any snakes - well, I have seen one snake, but someone or something had killed it and torn it into a few pieces. But that doesn’t count ‘cause he has to be alive.

Gospel thoughts

Just watched a video clip with Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church in Highlands Village, near Dallas.

Here are some thoughts (some of mine and some quotes from Matt) for your consideration:

1. We have too much emphasis on information and not enough on transformation. The church has been too much about “width” and not depth. Depth is being obedient to what we         know from Scripture.

The Gospel is about transformation, not information.

The key is being obedient to what has already been revealed to me.

When I don’t apply what I know, what the Lord has revealed to me:
        * I kill my intimacy with God
        * Destroyed the power of the Holy Spirit flowing through me

1. 2. There is a total disintegration of real authenticity & community in our churches.


2. We need encouragement and rebuke on a regular basis.

        Rebuke is never received well - it is either received in shame or defense by discrediting the one who brings the rebuke.

        We’re not encouraged when we NEED to be encouraged and we’re not rebuked when we NEED to be rebuked.

3. We have an absolute lack of building an authoritative church.

1. Too many pastors are cowards hiding behind their position.

4. We think that size has something to do with success.

5.We have taught our people that spiritual growth & formation happens quickly. It doesn’t. It takes place at a crawl!

Spiritual formation is a LIFELONG process! Every “baby-step” forward is progress. We won’t be completely spiritually healthy until the day we die, the Lord kills us or comes back for us.

Ouch. This is what I like about Matt. He tells it like it is. He has always spoken the truth in love. And he’s solid theologically - not bad for a guy who didn’t attend seminary!

Thoughts & quotes from the book "Mad Church Disease" by Anne Jackson

I’m reading an interesting book by Anne Jackson titled “Mad Church Disease - Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic.”

Very interesting reading and well worth reading by anyone in church or full-time Christian ministry/work.

Here are a couple of quotes from the last chapter I read today:

“...we can never rid ourselves of the past - the good or the bad... The successes, the failures, the joy, and the pain are all beautifully woven together to make you who you are at this moment... We should look at our past as a gift and not a burden. And as such, we should steward it like any other gift we’ve been given... By taking our focus off the dysfunctions of our past, and changing it to how God can work through us as He uses our life journey - our history, our present, and our future - we are less likely to burn out.”

And here’s a quote that she uses from Oswald Chambers, “If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Hime, and He will make use of you every minute you live - yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him.”

Godliness with contentment is great gain...

Don’t you hate that word “contentment?”

I’ve been challenged all of my life to be content. Be content with what you have; be content with who you are; be content with where you are in life; and more.

But for someone who likes to push the envelope, to find his limits, to go faster, farther, do better, more, bigger, it’s not easy to be content.

BUT

There are times when the Lord is able to push through my thick skull and communicate HIS desire in a given situation.

2.5 years ago was one of those times. At the time, I owned a perfectly good Apple Powerbook G4 laptop computer. It was 3 years old and I had no problems with the machine - well, except for the fact that it was “old” in computer terms. The newer machines were out and - wow! I lusted after a new MacBook Pro. I drooled. I wanted. And I was no longer content with my rock-solid, dependable Powerbook.

The short version of the story is that I did work through my discontentment issue with the computer I had. No sooner had I truly become content with the Powerbook, it was stolen from me! And, due to the blessing of a supporting family in the US, I received a brand-new MacBook Pro less than 1 month later.

Well, discontentment has again raised it’s ugly head - but this time, it was defeated in “short order.”

Last Monday, Linda & I went to look at a car to purchase for our use. It is a 1998 Lexus. The car was owned by a man who had another Lexus (a 1999) that was his daily driver, but cost $1000 more than the ‘98. Initially, when I talked to him on the phone, I had a very good sense about this purchase - very different from the other owners & cars we had met and driven.

We had pretty much decided on the ‘98 and told the seller so, but there was one “issue” with the car that we wanted him to work through to finalize the purchase.

On the drive home, I began to do my usual “wangling” regarding the newer, nicer Lexus for more money.

“Linda, do you realize that we are only $200-400 short of the price of the more expensive Lexus? We could probably manage to scrape it up during the week.“

Linda countered, ”We decided on a limit and the 1998 is at that limit. Besides, we need money to buy a bed, pay for my 1-semester of schooling and other settling expenses when we move into the rental on August 1st.“

As much as I didn’t like it, I knew she was right and even right then admitted it. ”You’re right. I will be content with the ‘98. It’s a nice car and the price is really good anyways.“

Well, the seller called on Wednesday evening to inform us that the problem was different than he had thought and was going to have someone check it out and would get back to me. I told him that we were committed to buy the car still and just wanted to know what the problem was before we bought it. He said he would get back to me later in the week.

Today, he called.

Short version? He sold the ‘98 to another couple that came to look at the car last night (Friday). They were willing to take the car “as is.”

HOWEVER,

He told me that he liked the work that we’re doing for the Lord and that we “seemed like nice people” and, therefore, would sell us his 1999 for the price that he was selling his 1998.

When I told Linda, she wept. I wept with her. We have such a great & awe-inspiring God!

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

So, on Tuesday, we’ll be going up to Phoenix to purchase a newer, nicer Lexus than we had thought we would be getting for the same price as we had already decided that we could afford.

When Doug, the seller called, he said, “I usually give $500 from every car sale that I make to a local church. Since I’m selling 2 cars (the 1998 Lexus ES300 and the 1999 Lexus ES300), it would be $1000. So, I figured that instead of giving the money to a church, that I could bless you guys by selling you the 1999 for $1000 less than the 1998. What do you think?”

“We’ll buy it!” I blurted. “Thank you!”

“Well, don’t thank me. I’m the one getting blessed here and it’s really cool!” he said.

“Isn’t that the way it is with blessing others?” I said. “The giver is blessed and the receiver is blessed. It doesn’t get any better than that, does it?”

It doesn’t, does it? You see, when our hearts are free from the entanglement of the “more is better/bigger is better/newer is better” trap, several things happen:

        God is free to bless.
        Others are free to give.
        You are freed to be blessed, bless and rejoice in God’s work, not your own “wangling” and manipulation.

Wow, I only wish I had learned this lesson a lot earlier in life!!!

My beautiful wife!

I thought I'd add a pic of my MUCH better half - wouldn't you rather look at her than me? She's weeding our daughter & son-in-law's front lawn as I write this. Yes, I'm going to help her RIGHT NOW!

Testing PixelPipe

I'm testing out a program called PixelPipe that enables you to post to several services at one time (ie, Facebook, Blogger, MySpace, Twitter, etc.)

So far, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace have worked flawlessly, but Blogger is giving me trouble.

Testing...

Testing PixelPipe for iPhone

Identity challenges

Transitions like this one back to the USA always have a way of stripping away all of the fluff that we often use to identify ourselves.

Fluff like our jobs, ministry positions, clubs, sports teams, even possessions (cars, houses, recreational machines like boats, motorcycles, quads, etc.)

Having left Slovakia just 2 weeks ago, I have been stripped of:

1. Ministry positions of youth ministry director in our church


2. Elder status in our church


3. Team leader of GEM-YM (Greater Europe Mission’s Youth Ministries)


4. All recreational involvement of any sort - sports, etc.


5. Possessions - sold our car, gave away a ton of stuff (camp materials, books, and more)


6. Packed all of our remaining goods into a 20-foot container (with room to spare I might add) and sent it on an ocean-going ship. So all we possess is what we brought with us on the plane in 7 suitcases


7. And now we are house-sitting for about 5 weeks, then we’ll travel for another 3 or so and finally on August 1st we will move into a house that we’ll call home for at least a year

So, my identity has been stripped down to what it should be: a child of God.

That’s it.

Over 32 years ago, as a new believer in Jesus Christ, I remember coming to a realization: As a child of God, I am simply to know my Savior and daily do what He asks me to do.

At that young age as a follower of Christ, this thought crossed my mind and cemented in my heart the kind of posture I am to have towards my Lord: If He asks me to do nothing but to sit in a puddle on a sidewalk for the rest of my life, that is what I SHOULD do in order to find the deepest fulfillment in my life. The question is, would I do it?

If my identity is truly ONLY in Christ, then it should be no problem for me to do that. If my identity is connected to anything else, I would struggle with that simple and strange request from my Lord. Wouldn’t you?

Thankfully, the Lord has more productive (at least in our eyes it appears more productive) work for us to do. But, really, if that were His command to you, would you be content to do it? I struggle with that myself - and I’m feeling it more now than ever, thanks to the recent transition.

Back in the USA

“Back in the USSR, you don’t know how lucky you are...”

The old Beatles’ song is reverberating in my head as I sit here, just over 2 weeks after our arrival in the USA (or the USSA as one calls it - the “United Socialist States of America“). I’ll leave the political bantering for others to debate...

What I’ve enjoyed about being back in the States:

1. Seeing old friends and spending time with them


2. Meeting new friends (mainly Samantha (Sam), Caleb’s girlfriend)


3. The availability of ”stuff“ and the variety of ”stuff“ (more flavors of soda than one can imagine) and the ease of finding a solution to a given problem (ie, finding a dog training setting to help our Labrador get over her fear/aggression issues with other dogs (caused by a German Shepherd’s attack on her as a 6 month old)


4. The weather here in Arizona - 90-95 degrees is really a nice summertime temperature!

What has taken/is taking time for adjustment:

1. Driving 20 minutes to an hour to get to a desired location (car shopping, malls, church, etc.)


2. Re-acclimating to the American culture (whatever that means, I just don’t yet know)


3. Realizing that just because a friend is just next door in another state, that does not mean that it’s only a 2-3 hour drive


4. Realizing that driving is almost a ”have-to“ in this culture and that walking is hardly a means of transportation, but more a mode of exercise

Georgia Youth Workers' Summit 2009

Didi madloba - Georgian for “thank you very much.”

That’s what comes to mind as I try to summarize what took place during this past week in the Kakheti region of the Republic of Georgia as Tagg Wolverton, Holly Davis and I invested time, energy, money & heart into the lives of youth workers from across the Republic of Georgia, Belarus & Armenia. All together, we numbered about 20 youth workers.
​

Pictured here: Ciskara, Tato, Samuel, Gocha, Mushegh, Kelly, Pavel, Iza, Tagg, Nino, Holly, Ana, Lea, Natia, Eka, Dali, Tino, Elijah, Alex - not pictured: Ana, Maja, Brian

To the best of our knowledge, this is the first of this kind of gathering in Georgia and, thanks to the Lord, was encouraging and challenging to all present.

Brian Wolf, a missionary with I.G.O. (International Gospel Organization?), organized the event. Brian has been in Georgia for just short of 5 years, is married to a beautiful Georgian woman, Maja, and is involved in church planting, youth ministry and other key areas of ministry effecting healthy, growing churches throughout the Kakheti region (the eastern-most region) of Georgia.

While all-day Friday & Saturday morning sessions were focused on foundations of ministry to young people, discipleship & leadership multiplication, Saturday afternoon & Sunday afternoon were designed as panel discussions for question & answer and idea-sharing & stimulation.

Cross-cultural issues abound around the world and North Americans are not the only people to commit faux pas when operating outside of their home borders. During our time in Georgia we encountered French Christians traveling throughout the country who, upon their arrival, presented at least one host family with an “acceptable menu” of food items for their meals while in Georgia - brazen, to say the least!

As well, we watched Armenians wrestle with the Georgian culture and the Georgians struggle with Armenian expectations. I’m withholding details out of sensitivity to those involved.

Expectations play a large part in cross-cultural relations and they can be devastating if not handled in a mature manner.

I have to say that Tagg & Holly really seemed to connect with the youth workers throughout the weekend. Holly, through her excellently effervescent personality and constant smile, drew the youth workers to her through her casual, open style of communication and seemed to give them hope & ideas for their own local ministries.

Tagg, in his dry, Southern-style humor and quick wit broke barriers & stereotypes of “older” youth workers. As well, Tagg’s exceptional ability to draw the “issue” at hand into a system-wide discussion - laced with practical suggestions & ideas - opened their eyes to a balanced approach to ministry to young people. Both exhibited a comfortable confidence that comes from experience in ministry & a solid relationship with Jesus Christ. What a joy to watch them serve these young youth workers and give them hope, encouragement and joy in their ministries.

Brian was beaming with joy as we discussed the results of the Youth Workers’ Summit. He was encouraged for 2 reasons: 1) He saw his youth workers light up with joy, enthusiasm, energy and desire to discuss, dream and move forward in their ministries and 2) he realized that the training that he had done in the past years was basically right on - at least in comparison with what we shared during the weekend. As well, he enjoyed the fellowship with native English speakers - as did we.

We definitely accomplished our goal of encouraging, equipping and giving hope to these young youth workers.

How can we improve for the future? That’s a topic for another post. Stay tuned....

The God of "The In-Between"

Margaret Feinberg in her book, “The Sacred Echo,” states that God is the God of “The In-Between.” What is that you ask? I’ll tell you from personal experience that it is true. God is present in those times when we don’t know what will be or what we should do, where we should go at a given junction in life.

I think God likes those in-between times. In fact, I think He loves them in our lives because it is in those times that He is very important to us - that in those times of fog, ambiguity, confusion, wonder, fear, uncertainty are the times where our antennae are tracking Him closely - waiting to hear from Him, see some sign from Him, grasp something tangible from Him or hear a word, any word, from Him.

And if you don’t think that these are days of uncertainty for us (“us” meaning “the Shattucks), you certainly have not been reading our updates or in communication with us re: our immediate future.

In summary, this is what it looks like:

• on May 26th, the 20 foot container arrives and we have 6 hours to pack it with all of the household belongings that we’re taking back to the USA with us.


• on May 31st, we fly out of Vienna to the USA


• We’re leaving a country that we love dearly, that we have worked hard to serve, reach with Jesus Christ, and still see much work to do


• We’re returning to our beloved home country that is racked with weird diseases, political ”discomfort,“ fear, economical instability, rising unemployment, and whose cultural nuances, values and such are stranger to us than ever before (having been gone for 13 years!)


• There are questions re: our future. I want to pursue a doctorate (will that happen?). Linda wants to work for a while as a nurse, but she needs to return to school for a semester to re-acclimate to the nursing work environment.


• How will this move back impact our supporters, their support (prayer & financial) and such.

So many questions, so few answers - for now. Though there is much uncertainty, we are certain of many things, some of which are:

• God is still on His throne!


• The Lord Jesus still loves His creation and especially His children!


• He is still leading us!


• He will reveal our next steps in His time and in His way.


• We look forward to seeing what He’s got in mind!


• It is ALWAYS an adventure to walk with Him!

”Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.“ Phil. 4:6,7

Rhythms & Melodies

I wish I had something profound to write here, but it’s nothing really profound - especially if you are older than 30 years old. Simply put, we live in the rhythms and seasons of life. We’re born, grow up, marry (most, I guess), have & rear children, watch them leave the nest and return with grandkids (not my experience as of yet!) and we die.

The most amazing thing about all of this is that we were totally non-existent before birth, then suddenly, we exist - body, soul, spirit, mind, emotions, desires, will and all! Then we spend the next 60-100 years learning, scrapping, wondering, wandering, fighting, loving, hating, learning, adjusting, settling, scheming and much, much more. And all this for what? In hopes of leaving a miniscule scratch on the surface of life so that in generations to come people will remember us, revere us, worship us?

It certainly seems that way!

Now don’t take me as a cynic. I’m cynical, but not to the point of insisting that this life has no purpose or meaning. I think that this life has tremendous purpose & meaning. But I think that it is preparation for the future! Not the future that we experience in this life, but the future which we will experience when we pass from this world from our earthly bodies.

I think, as Jesus submitted, that this life is only the beginning of something MUCH bigger, greater, and that we are to find what our place is in that life. Jesus offers to us a unique role in that “future life” as His children, in His family, representing Him while we are still here on this planet in this life. It is a strange thing to even think that we at all exist.

But by the grace of God we would not even possess a body, let alone the capabilities to reason, desire, plan, understand, connect with others, etc. In that, I have to simply say that rhythms & melodies I sense & experience as I walk through life are written by the Great Choreographer, Who has His own plan for the song He is writing and the dance He is designing for us to sing & dance in His strength, time, plan and to His glory and blessing of His creation.

So simple. So elegant. So difficult when I let my proud heart scribble my out-of-sync-and-out-of-tune notes on the pages of His composition. Sing HIS song today. Dance HIS dance today. I am releasing all I am - once again (sigh) - to the hands of the Great Choreographer, the Grand Conductor.

European Evangelical Alliance (EEA), Coma-Ruga, Spain

As I sit here watching the sun rise, I listen to the dull rumble of a huge engine on some kind of ocean liner out in the Mediterranean Sea and the splash of small waves on the shoreline.

What a great location for a gathering of network leaders from all over Europe to meet and pray, talk, brainstorm, get to know each other and dream with the Lord about His desire for Europe to know Him.

Although, I must admit in my heart that of the maybe 100 men & women here, about 700 million Europeans are represented by them. A daunting task it is for us to take on.

The most encouraging element for me from this weekend is the time with Tagg & Holly as we prepare for the Youth Workers’ Summit in the Republic of Georgia. Colin & Melissa Piper and the Proffitts are also encouraging as we talk about the future and how Linda & I could possibly fit into their plans.

It’s nice to be by the salt water again. I do miss the salty air, waves splashing and the feeling of sand between my toes as I walk barefoot along the shoreline.

What’s next, Lord? I look forward to what You have in mind....

Day of prayer & fasting

All in all, about 24 people connected with me for prayer today! What a blessing! My wrists are tired from jumping from window to window in Facebook & Skype as i prayed with you all!

And for those of you who prayed and did not connect - THANK YOU! I know there were several of you who did so because you sent me emails telling me of your prayer on our behalf.

Thank you all so much!

A little smile can make a big difference

I just got back from my walk with Lani (our 2.5 year old black Lab Retriever). I started taking her on walks regularly last week when Linda was struck with a bladder infection that restricted her to a distance of 3 meters from the toilet!

I noticed that since we went on our walks at about the same time every day, that we’d see many of the same people each day (except for Saturday & Sunday).

As we passed each person, I would nod, give a little smile (not the huge toothy grin that we Americans are so famous for) and greet them with a “Good morning.”

After the first few days, several folks began to respond in kind (no smile - with the exception of one lady who I think really likes Lani - or maybe I’M the one she likes! ;-) Hey, I may be 51 years old, but I’m still good-looking! ) :-)

Today, the beginning of the work week, we went out again and I noticed that more of the same faces were responding with “Good morning” greetings and even a few smiles.

I don’t care what people say about Slovaks/Central Europeans, I think that they’re kind people in general and just need a little reason to show it.

Invite to pray with us!

Tomorrow, Monday, April 20th, is a special day for me.

I have set aside the day to pray with you online! From 11:00 am - 5:00pm (Central Europe Time - GMT+1), I will be available online to pray with you. The purposes are: a) for us to thank the Lord for 13 (almost) years of blessing in our ministry here in Europe, b) to praise Him for what He is doing in, through and around YOU and, c) to ask Him to provide financial & other needs for our move from Slovakia to the USA. If you’d like more details, you can email me, comment me on this blog, check out the Day of prayer & fasting on our Facebook or simply connect via chat in Facebook or Skype between 11:00am and 5:00pm GMT+1.

Hope to see you there!

Running with the Bulls

I just finished the book “Run with the Bulls Without Getting Trampled” by Dr. Tim Irwin. I won’t go into the contents of the book here except to say that I was encouraged, rebuked & challenged by the contents therein.

At the beginning of the final chapter in his book, Dr. irwin quotes Max DePree: “It is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.”

Change is unavoidable if we want to make progress, to grow, to make any sort of impact in any way, shape or form.

In 1993, the giant ferry MS Estonia sank in the Baltic Sea during a storm. 850 people drowned in that accident in spite of dozens of lifeboats floating only a few feet away from the sinking boat. The people clung to railings and other parts of the ferry as their “comfort zone” and refused to release long enough to swim to safety to the nearby lifeboats. Tragic. As a result, the sinking ferry sucked many to their death as it plunged beneath the icy waters.

In one of the final paragraphs in the book, Dr. Irwin writes, “I’m trying to figure out which of my efforts achieved their purpose, what may by holding my back, and what must I stop pouring resources into. What work should I stop doing? Which opportunities should I turn down? I have anxious moments and find it very difficult to let go of the safety rails of the familiar. Although I find change to be unsettling, it also holds great promise.”

WOW! If that doesn’t describe where I am today, I don’t know what does!

Irwin believes that it is the “compelling whys” that motivate us to true change/transformation. These “compelling whys fall into 3 categories:

1. Pain - ”Pain is the most unpleasant but the strongest driver of change.“


2. Potential Consequences - ”...probably sources of pain, but the prospect of that pain is so unpleasant that it can change our behavior.“


3. Future Promise - ”Future promise shows the benefits of change. If we lose weight, we’ll look and feel better.“

As I look into the future (a very short distance away!), I see tremendous challenges ahead of me. At the same time, I see a need for tremendous changes!

Thanks Dr. Tim for your insights and encouragement!

Being part of a church

Psalm 84
How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
2         I long, yes, I faint with longing
to enter the courts of the Lord.
With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God.
3         Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young
at a place near your altar,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!
4         What joy for those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
Interlude


I know that this passage isn’t speaking directly about church attendance and I’m one of the last people who would be pushing church attendance in and of itself as a means of spiritual growth. BUT, I often ask the people in our church (whenever I have the privilege to lead the service or preach or something from “up front”), if they gave any thought about the worship service before they arrived “on site.”

I wonder, how many of us long for the worship service in our churches? When was the last time your heart yearned to be in the church building during a worship service, to be with His people in worship & prayer & praise? Have you (or I) ever fainted from longing for the fellowship of the believers?

And when we’re present, do we worship with our “whole being, body and soul... and shout joyfully to the living God?” Or do we sit silently, still, unmoving, unmoved, unaffected by the entire service?

We serve the Highest, most Gracious, most Holy, most Powerful God - none comes close!Is He not worthy of our total engagement - body, mind, soul & spirit - when we worship, serve, pray and praise?

I’m rebuked. I’ll work on having a bigger perspective of Who He is when I gather with my brothers & sisters to worship on Sunday.

O Lord, Your dwelling place is indeed lovely!

Spring sunrise

Slept in this morning, but when I got up this is what greeted my eyes when I opened the blinds for my daily morning weather check. Pretty cool, huh?

Stress

Stress is an awful thing when it’s in an overload amount. It, in small amounts, can act as a motivator, but too much causes pain, lock-up (physical & emotional & intellectual).

King David experienced stress in Ps. 73. Listen to what he said:

“I envied the proud...they seem to live painless lives... bodies are healthy & strong... don’t have troubles like other people...not plagued with cruelty...have everything they could ever wish for...scoff & speak evil... crush others... boast against heaven...”

These kinds of thoughts come from within us, not from outside. David went on to say, “Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside.”

And the final thought from this psalm, “But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things You do.”

Gratitude. Thanksgiving. It certainly has a way of changing our perspective. This morning as I awakened, in spite of some of the physical pains I was experiencing, I realized that I didn’t have 2 of the ones which I had when I went to sleep last night. I chose to focus on the disappearance of the 2 and thank the Lord that they were gone and that I had less pain than last night.

As a result, my heart rejoiced, my mind was full of thanks - in spite of the workload for this week that lays ahead of me - and my attitude changed for the better - in a big way!

Thank You, Lord, for the ability to be thankful and to give thanks and “feel” thankful!

Whom have I... but You?

Ps. 73: 25-28
“Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. 26  My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. 27  Those who desert him will perish, for you destroy those who abandon you. 28  But as for me, how good it is to be near God! I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter, and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.“

My body (health) is certainly failing. Backaches, joint issues, allergies, etc. plague me. At this very moment, I am counting 7 ”issues“ that plague me on a daily basis in my physical body (ankle, calf, back, shoulder, bicep, eyes & allergies (not counting the individual allergies - just bunching them together!). It’s funny how we accept these as ”normal“ and continue on living life.

I’m not against maintaining good health through proper diet, exercise & rest. But I don’t want to spend so much time ”maintaining“ my body that I forget to use it for it’s purpose - to impact the lives of other people for eternity.

I think that this is why some people who live long lives look forward to Heaven! Pain is a natural part of life, but constant physical pain is tiring & wearing. I truly admire people who in the midst of battling cancer or some other form of unremitting, relentless pain manage to keep their hearts, minds & eyes focused on the eternal value of life.

I tend to want to ”pack up & go home” when I “suffer” for 2 or 3 days (or weeks) from some physical ailment or injury.

But, that’s not all bad because it does remind me of my true home, my eternal home, where I’ll spend the rest of forever with Jesus. That’s sounding better & better all the time!

What I'm created to do

Recently, my regional leader asked me the following questions:
        What is the ideal job description for me?
        What does that entail & look like?
        What job/ministry includes my passions?

Here are my thoughts:

I need a place/job/ministry where the following is possible on a regular basis:

> Mobility - It is important for me to get out from behind the desk and do things. I need to be “out and about” at least sometimes. I am rarely happier than when I don’t have to be cooped up in an office, but can get out and do things or be with people.

> Creating/Innovating - It is important for me to be able to propose and/or implement new, creative ideas. I need to be appreciated for my ability to see things in innovative ways and come up with creative solutions. I am happy/fulfilled when I am in an environment where creativity & innovation are appreciated.

> Pioneering - It is important for me to launch new ventures. I need the opportunity to take on brand-new , never-before-accomplished tasks and see them accomplished. I am “fired up“ when trying a new ministry or ministry approach for the first time.
        
> Risk - It is important for me to know that I am taking some risks. I need to be involved in a ministry where things are not always predictable and in which the outcome is not always determinable in advance. I am ”jacked up“ when I have made a risky decision and things end up with positive results.

> Influencing/Impacting - It is important for me to feel that I have had a significant impact on others. I need to be valued for my ability to work at least as hard as anyone else. I love to put in long, hard hours and see the fruit of my labor in my ministry.

> Working primarily with young people is an absolute must. It is a non-negotiable. They are the key to effective, long-term change in any culture or country.

5. What job/ministry includes my giftedness?

> Traveling to new locations to visit, explore, investigate and dream of new possibilities for ministry innovation & development

> Going to locations where ministry to young people either does not exist or is barely functional and meeting with parties interested in exploring, initiating and/or developing ministry to young leaders

> The setting must include in it extensive time with people

God speaks - more like a whisper

As I lay on the table with peat moss in bags placed across my back and something that generated heat on top of those (this process is called “rasha-leena” in Slovak), feeling the heat pervade the muscles and relaxing them, I fought the urge to fall asleep. I wanted to hear God even in this moment of “pampering.” I wanted to know that He could speak to my heart even in the midst of something as mundane or earthly as physical relaxation.

And speak He did. Well, it was more like a whisper. But it was unmistakeable. Linda & I had been talking about the future, about ministry opportunities, about Home Ministry Assignment and what would come after. We talked about the question of my desires for the future, for ministry fulfillment (is that an oxymoron?), what would be the perfect job description for me/us and much more.

This happens at the beginning of every HMA (Home Ministry Assignment). I find myself looking back over the past few years and asking the question, “What have I done with my time? Into what have I/we invested the resources (prayer, time & finances of those who partner with our work here in Europe)? Better yet, into WHOM have we invested?

What difference have we made by our presence in Slovakia & Europe? Will there be a hole caused by our departure? Will people yearn for the days that we walked among them?

What if we were to never return to the same area, church, ministries, people groups? In 2 years from now - or 5, 10 or 20 years from now - will people be different because of our presence and time spent here in Europe?

And then come the questions re: the future? Do we want to continue to work with young people? If not, why not? If not with young people, then with whom?

So, what did God say?

He ever-so-softly whispered to my heart, ”Can you see yourself investing your time, energy, finances, resources and those of your prayer & financial partners into people other than young people?“

I almost answered out loud. ”No! I cannot!“

I MUST have the joy, privilege, duty, opportunity and life of investing into young people. I MUST. It is that for which I have been created, formed, honed, shaped and released by God the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit.

I MUST and I WILL - by God’s grace & power!

Dream with Domca and Owen

***** It’s 1:09 am on March 26, 2009. Just woke up from a dream and decided to write it down.*****

I was driving through a small European village, when I spotted Domca standing a little ways away from the road standing at what appeared to be a bus stop. Linda was in the car with me. I stopped, backed up and fumbled with opening the window to yell out Linda’s window to Domca, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?” I was being sarcastic and the question means, “Are you kissing off your own people?”

I was, of course, sarcastically referring to the fact that she had not seen Linda & me in the car driving by and that she had not reacted to our presence in “her” village.

Domca didn’t hear me and I realized that I hadn’t rolled the window down but a small amount and that I had backed up too far. So, as I returned to the optimal position, this time with the window down, I yelled again in her direction, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?”

Unfortunately, she had started to walk further away, but she turned and looked in our direction for a moment before walking on. I drove further up and yelled again. I stopped the car, got out and began yelling yet once again, “Kašleš na svojich ľudí?” in the direction I last saw her.

As I moved in the direction I last saw her, I noticed that people were staring at me. I explained to them in Slovak, that I had seen a young woman walking this way and asked if they had seen her. One man answered in British English, “I have no idea what you’re saying, old chap, but you’re welcome to join us.”

I suddenly realized that I was standing in the midst of some members of an extended family that happened to be out and about. I switched to English and in short time found out where Owen & Domca were living. I immediately went to visit them and was welcomed warmly.

After a good dinner with some of the extended family members, Domca, Owen & I were sitting in a living room with a fireplace laughing at my story of yelling at the bus stop and in town.

I changed topics and asked them how they were doing. My question met with a long, uncomfortable silence. I was really saddened. I had performed their wedding ceremony not barely 2 years ago and here they were already having serious problems.

I asked what they were doing the next day and was pleasantly surprised to hear that their day was free.

“Linda and I also have the day free. How about lunch together? I’ll bring the wine and Linda.”

“Great!” they blurted.

“Great. Only you fix lunch at your place so we can have some place private and after lunch, we’ll talk about your relationship and we’ll see if we can’t help you through this time.”

*****End of dream******

I woke up and immediately sent an email from my iPhone to Owen & Domca to ask how they are doing.

We know that we don't know a lot!

God has brought us to a crossroad in our lives & ministry. We are leaving Slovakia for Home Ministry Assignment on May 31, 2009. We know that the Lord is leading us in this.

We know that the Lord has a place for us to live in the USA - but we don’t know where that place is.

We know that the Lord has a job for Linda somewhere in the USA - but we don’t know where that is.

We know that the Lord has a plan for our day-to-day ministry time in the USA - but there are many variables that we don’t know.

We know that we have much support to raise - but we don’t know whom the Lord is going to use to partner with us.

We know that our work in the Kingdom has not come to an end - but we don’t know exactly what the Lord’s future plans are.

Hm, we don’t know much about the future. But we DO know the One who has the future in His grasp and - for now - that is sufficient for us.

We’re returning to the USA to raise support, get out of debt (incurred by living in Europe on insufficient income), get some more training or education (Kelly is praying about pursuing a doctorate) and continue serving in the Kingdom of God.

Please pray with us regarding God’s leading. Please pray for wisdom, clarity and direction.