Wedding day!

It’s September 27, 2008. Candace & Luke will be tying the knot in about 3.5 hours.

I dreamt about the wedding last night and ever since I’ve awakened, I have been struggling to identify the emotions running through my gut, mind, veins.

I’m nervous - very nervous. Part of that is certainly due to the fact that I have the privilege & responsibility of officiating at the wedding ceremony for the Unity Sand and Candace & Luke’s first Lord’s Supper as a couple. But that’s not the biggest thing that I’m dealing with emotionally.

Linda & I talked about it and she explained it as the “passing of the baton” of care of my first little girl to another man and that I’m not 100% sure that he can care for her as I have and blah, blah, blah.

Actually, I believe that Luke is VERY qualified to lead Candace and I really don’t fear that he’ll be able to care for her emotionally, spiritually, financially & otherwise.

I know that I’m not losing a daughter, but gaining a son. But there’s still something else that is weighing on my heart and I still can’t put my finger on it.

I’m wondering if this is the “leaving” part of the relationship that is mentioned in the book of Genesis in the Bible. It would certainly make sense in that the Scriptures say in that passage that a man is to leave his parents and “cleave to his wife.“ I’m wondering if the feelings are more like a ”cleaving“ of my relationship with Candace so that she can then leave us (Linda & me) and then become one with her husband, Luke.

I do believe that there is more than a mental assent to the leaving and cleaving. I believe that marriage is a union that takes place physically, emotionally & spiritually. I’m further convinced that divorce is a rending, a tearing of the one again into two. And, as we all know, when something has been glued together, it never comes apart into two again as cleanly as it was when they started as two separate units/things/people. (I believe that is why divorce is so messy in so very many ways.)

So, with all of that in mind, I guess this feeling of ”loss“ is real, but not in the sense of a loss when someone dies and the person is no longer present with us. I believe it is a loss of a primary role of leadership/headship/impact/influence and perhaps more.

So much for waxing eloquent in my final hours as a virgin ”father-in-law.“ I’ll post more if I get some insights from others who have had this experience and give me more insight.

Any thoughts from you?